#8 - Why You Need To Be Patient and Direct When Trying To Change

How is that for a title folks! Sounds pretty creative and exciting right???

Well herein lies my first point about change… it isn’t exciting. It isn’t super creative. It isn’t groundbreaking.

Nope.

Lasting change will be mostly boring. Lasting change will take longer to happen than you like. On the other hand, it will happen quicker if you are patient (trust me).

I want to talk about this using my gym members as examples. No one specific but instead just illustrating patterns of successes and mistakes I have seen over time.

Enjoy.


Phase One Of Change - Unconsciously Incompetent

This initial phase of change is embodied by the vast majority of people when they start here at the gym.

Being unconsciously incompetent essentially comes down to ‘not knowing what you aren’t good at’ or, more precisely, ‘not knowing what you need to improve specifically’.

So many people get into this gym thinking they need to show up and fucking DESTROY their workouts. They need to put it all on the line each workout. They need to cut all of the junk food. They need to start eating chicken and rice like it’s their job.

STOP IT!

See it first glance… a lot of people think they know exactly what they need to change to find success when they first start here. But oftentimes this is an illusion.

What they need to change first… more than anything else… is their mindset and perspective.

This talk of mindset and perspective will be revisited again towards the end of this article.


Phase Two Of Change - Consciously Incompetent

Here we have arrived at conscious incompetence a.k.a. ‘knowing what you aren’t good at’.

So in the scenario of a new gym member here this is when people realize around month 2 or 3 that they aren’t going to completely reinvent themselves so quickly. They have finally figured out that they need to shift their mindset around exercise and overall health if they are going to experience success.

For many people this looks like actually working out LESS.

For many people this looks like actually treating themselves to “cheat” foods MORE.

For many people this looks like actually just giving themselves a damn break every once in a while.

The common thread here is that for most people this is when they realize they need to simply put LESS pressure on themselves.

Look I’m going to level with you… many people who know me might think of me as a hard-ass and tough on people but they will also tell you that I am tough on people in regards to believing in themselves.

It is an epidemic of despair and frustration out there in the world of health and fitness and I am raging against that.

So listen up! Take a breath. You can change. You just need to trust yourself that as long as you don’t quit YOU WILL SUCCEED.


Phase Three Of Change - Consciously Competent

Now things are starting to get fun.

People usually arrive at this stage around months 4-8.

This is when people start acknowledging that there is no rush to some sort of ‘end goal’.

The prize is actually in the process.

This is when people start showing up and have a damn good time in the gym. They laugh. They crack jokes. They work hard. They show up time and time and time and time again with the same basic understanding: that consistency will pay off.

But all the while they are still battling the thoughts here and there of doubt. This is why this is ‘conscious’ and not unconscious yet. Because it is still requiring a good bit of self-talk.

Things aren’t easy yet… but they are happening.

You notice clothes fitting better.

You are getting stronger.

The needle is moving.

But change is hard… so you just can’t shake the voice in your head that says ‘could I be doing better?’


Phase Four Of Change - Unconsciously Competent

You have reached the endgame. You no longer have to ‘think’ about changing things.

You are living the change mindset day to day because this is now who you are.

You show up to the gym because that is the person you are now.

You eat healthy but enjoy your life still because that is who you are now.

You aren’t perfect… but you don’t even know why you ever wanted to be ‘perfect’ in the first place.

You aren’t paying attention to other signals about how you should look and feel.. you are paying attention to your own body and mind.

Now let me spoil things really quickly for you…

You will not stay in this stage forever.

Nope you will probably only stay in this stage long enough for you to start determining the next thing in your life that you identify as needing changed.

The crucial thing is that you now have the roadmap that tells you how to change in the first place.

And what do we know now?

We know that it takes time and that it takes direct effort on a small goal.

Until next time gang.

Go Steelers.

Coach Dill